How To Get Wedding Clients Without Relying On Instagram

Transcript: How To Get Wedding Clients Without Relying On Instagram

Heidi Thompson:
Ever wish you could get wedding clients without having to rely on showing up on Instagram all the time? In this episode, I’m gonna show you how one wedding pro did just that.

Intro:
In a world where wedding professionals are struggling to market and grow their businesses, one podcast brings together top experts and actionable strategies to help you build the wedding business of your dreams. This is the Evolve Your Wedding Business podcast. Here is your host, Heidi Thompson.

Heidi Thompson:
Hey there, welcome to the podcast. I am your host, Heidi Thompson, and I am here to help wedding professionals just like you book more weddings with the people that you love working with. And Today, I want to paint you a picture. It’s not the theoretical version of what your business could be someday. It’s the real one, because the fastest way I know to help you believe something is possible is to show you a person who is already doing it and already living it. A couple years ago, someone joined my Book More Wedding Summit when she was in. a really dark place. I’m not talking a, oh, I’m frustrated with my marketing kind of dark place. I’m talking a scared for her family, just broke her leg, stuck in a recliner sobbing kind of dark place. Her name is Elise, and I want you to hear directly from her where she started because you might recognize yourself in it. And I think you’ll be very excited to see where she went in not a very long period of time and how you can do the same thing. Let’s get to the interview with Elise. Today I am joined by Elise Stokes, who is a member of the Wedding Business Collective. She is a stationery designer. She is a live wedding painter, and today she is here to take you through her journey because it has been, it’s been a pretty fun one. It’s been a winding one, and I know Elise When we first met, I feel like— correct me if I’m wrong, but had you just broken your leg?

Elyse Stokes:
Yeah, I had literally just broken my leg.

Heidi Thompson:
I—

Elyse Stokes:
gosh, that was— I broke my leg in July of 2024, and I’m trying to remember— do you remember which month it was that you were doing?

Heidi Thompson:
It was probably August.

Elyse Stokes:
Okay. Yeah. Then, yeah, it would have been like less than a month then.

Heidi Thompson:
Yeah, I remember like, oh my God, this poor girl.

Elyse Stokes:
I’m just showing up. I like, I’m like stuck in this recliner. But hey, it let you get some stuff done and let you focus. I know. I know. That was such a— that was honestly such a weird season for my business too, which You know, I, I can dive into that. I don’t know if you want me to go kind of chronologically of here’s what my business was looking like, or if you want me to just kind of talk about this particular season and then we’ll backtrack.

Heidi Thompson:
Well, let’s, let’s take it to the beginning. So, okay, tell me about how you started your business, how you decided that this was what you were gonna do.

Elyse Stokes:
Yeah, so I started my business the fall of 2018. So my husband and I got married June of 2018. And when I was engaged, obviously, I mean, literally my husband, now husband, proposed to me and we went to Barnes Noble immediately so that I could go get a wedding planning, like, book. Oh, that’s so nice. And yeah, I, I I’ve like always been kind of into stationery and books and tangible things. Like, I also am very much into keepsakes. It’s really hard for me to throw things away. And so when we got engaged, I was like, I really want to be intentional. I want to have a cute book that will guide me through the process. And so, yeah, literally my husband and I, we had a few hours to kill or a couple of hours to kill before we were going to have an engagement, like, surprise party. And so he was like, well, what do you want to do? I was like, I need a wedding planning book. So we went to Barnes Noble. I found this book, and you know, it kind of walks you through here’s how much you should save for flowers. Here’s the questions you should ask your photographer, and it was definitely a good starting.

Elyse Stokes:
But I was also, you know, it gave ideas of where to look for wedding invitations specifically.

Heidi Thompson:
And when I got to that point in the process and started looking, I just felt very underwhelmed on the whole. And I felt like, you know, even when you’re looking at websites like Minted or even The Knot has different, like, like they, they, they do offer like connecting you with a wedding stationer, but they also have their own kind of template shop that you can go to. And I just felt, like I said, very underwhelmed by what I was seeing. I felt like, especially there were certain designs where I was like, I literally feel like my friend sent a version of this out 3 months ago. I feel like another friend of mine used a very similar design, and I, and I just, I was like, if I see— I felt like if I see one more diagonal eucalyptus branch, I’m gonna vomit. And so I ended up removing myself from external inspiration completely, and I decided, you know what, I’m gonna just make my own wedding invitations. So I always joke now that I wish E. Stokes Creations existed back then, because I would have had very different wedding invitations than what I ended up sending out. But, you know, I’m grateful for what they were, but I really fell in love with the process again. Like, I was always into art supplies and stationery supplies, and so getting my hands on that for myself was so much fun.

Elyse Stokes:
It was such a joy.

Heidi Thompson:
I did all of like my day-of stuff.

Elyse Stokes:
I made signs for my wedding.

Heidi Thompson:
Everything that could be DIY was DIY, and I tried to do, you know, the highest caliber that I could. Again, I wish that I existed the way that I exist today, but I’m still really grateful for what I ended up being able to kind of come up with.

Heidi Thompson:
That’s really interesting to hear because you hear all the time people, you know, they planned their wedding and they fell in love with planning and they started a planning company. I don’t know that I’ve met many people that went that direction, but with stationery.

Heidi Thompson:
Yeah, that’s how it happened for me, was that literally we came back from our honeymoon and, you know, our wedding day was beautiful, our honeymoon was beautiful.

Elyse Stokes:
We came back.

Heidi Thompson:
And I was like, it’s all over.

Elyse Stokes:
Are you kidding me?

Heidi Thompson:
I’m not ready. I’m not ready to say goodbye to all of this.

Elyse Stokes:
And so I think that it started with me doing kind of like casual research into calligraphy, because that was something that I was really interested in while making my wedding invitations, was like, people do calligraphy and it’s so pretty.

Heidi Thompson:
And so my husband, like, you know, took me to the art supply store and we got like the most random set of supplies that I’m like, this is so low quality stuff that I ended up getting. But I was like obsessed at the time. And, you know, I, I got really deep into that and then ended up finding, oh, people like are actually making money making custom wedding invitations.

Elyse Stokes:
And that was, that was literally the way that the dots connected was a couple of months after the wedding.

Heidi Thompson:
I talked to my husband and I was like, look, I found these people that are doing what I want to do. Would this be something that, like, we could kind of lightly invest into and see how it goes as a side hustle, with the dream being eventually going full-time and having this be something that can help support our family, but that I get to work creatively as, as my career path? And so thankfully my husband was very supportive. You know, we went to IKEA and got a desk for our one-bedroom apartment for like the corner of our bedroom so that I could have somewhere to call a workstation that wasn’t just in the living room. And, you know, my husband really supported the dream when it, when it first kicked off, but that was when my business really started was, um, I did calligraphy.

Elyse Stokes:
I made signs for people’s weddings, a lot of wood signs, um, some watercolor artwork, um, and eventually got my first wedding invitation client too.

Heidi Thompson:
So yeah, that’s kind of the, the initial story for how my business started.

Heidi Thompson:
I love that. And how were you getting clients

Heidi Thompson:
in the beginning?

Heidi Thompson:
So very, very, very beginning, most of it was word of mouth. Of course, I made my Instagram.

Elyse Stokes:
I have archived so much stuff that is just completely unrelated and outdated. But it was like I was making wooden signs, like it was literally a slab of wood stained pretty with white calligraphy. And it would be like, you know, the couple’s last name established 2016 or whatever.

Heidi Thompson:
And so most of it was when I was— I was going to church at the time. So a lot of it was people that went to our church that kind of knew me and hired me to make certain signs or to do a little watercolor portrait.

Elyse Stokes:
I had a friend from a different state that he wanted to gift to his wife.

Heidi Thompson:
handwritten, like their handwritten vows in calligraphy and like a watercolor venue portrait. And it was an anniversary gift, but that was something that really helped catapult.

Elyse Stokes:
It was definitely word of mouth. Friends were my bread and butter to start, and then posting on Instagram.

Heidi Thompson:
Eventually I started slowly gaining a little bit of traction here and there. And I also did have an Etsy for only a few months, but it was so unsuccessful I ended up closing it. But I did get at least a couple of, um, like wooden signs that I, I made through that.

Elyse Stokes:
But yeah, it was kind of a really rusty start, um, a slow little snowball, but a snowball nonetheless.

Heidi Thompson:
So—

Heidi Thompson:
And it’s how it is for all of us, and it’s refreshing to hear because, you know, no one starts with all of this stuff in place and the ability to just instantly get clients and bring in clients. And I think sometimes we put that expectation on ourselves. Oh my gosh, should be further along.

Elyse Stokes:
I know, that’s actually something my therapist told me, the idea of shoulds. You’re gonna should yourself to death if you keep shoulding. And gosh, she said something where it was like, it was like a play on the word shit. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it was like, I, I just remember she— it was like, you’re gonna shit on yourself, or it was something like that. Really obsessed with the idea of like, should and shit are the same thing.

Heidi Thompson:
You should not shit yourself.

Elyse Stokes:
I love that.

Heidi Thompson:
Um, yeah, but yeah, I, I also remember because the ultimate goal was like, I really wanted to do wedding invitations, and that was not something that anybody had picked up with me yet.

Elyse Stokes:
And I was like, if I’m only showing, you know, that I do one-off calligraphy things, or that I do one-off watercolor things, or one-off wood signs, that’s great. But, but I also recognize that, like, I’m not doing anything to show my ability to do wedding invitations.

Heidi Thompson:
And so that was another part of it was like, Okay, let me— I ended up talking to one of my friends who— it was actually after she got married. I was like, can I treat you as if you’re a client just so that I can like go through the motions of everything and feel like if there are any snags that might come up, I want to be able to do it within a safe kind of controlled environment.

Elyse Stokes:
And so I ended up, you know, having a mock consultation call with her. I took notes. I went through the whole process where I gave her, you know, a sketch and, um, I, I, you know, I, I took her through what I wanted my process to look like again so that I could kind of figure out where there were potential kinks in the system. Um, and then ended up getting them printed and everything, and they were super cute. Um, her and her husband, they met while bowling, and so I had painted like a pair of like blue bowling shoes for their envelope liner.

Heidi Thompson:
And like, I thought it was just like the cutest thing at the time.

Elyse Stokes:
Um, but—

Heidi Thompson:
Great idea.

Elyse Stokes:
Like, I know, isn’t that so cute?

Heidi Thompson:
Not only did you create portfolio pieces for yourself, which you needed, and a lot of people know, like, okay, I need to just create some stuff, but the way you treated them like they were a client and actually let you Practice the whole process. That is so smart, Elise.

Elyse Stokes:
Well, thank you. I don’t know why I came up with it, but I, I just knew that I wanted to make it so that I wasn’t just fumbling the ball whenever my first client did come around. I was so scared of that, um, of, of just failing in front of someone, especially

Elyse Stokes:
especially early on, and then that just kind of like stagnating what growth could come. And so yeah, I think it was probably based in fear that I asked my friend to be my guinea pig, but I am grateful that I did it. And I still have her suite somewhere and like the notes that I took on our very first phone call. Um, like I said, I’m, I’m so into all of the keepsakes of things, and so I have it kind of all stored. in this little file of like my first client kind of thing. That’s so cool.

Heidi Thompson:
Yeah. So great idea with that. And then I’m curious, like, how did live wedding painting come into the picture for you?

Elyse Stokes:
That didn’t come into the picture for another few years, actually.

Heidi Thompson:
I—

Elyse Stokes:
so like I said, I got started with my business In 2018, late 2018. 2019 was really about trying to get my feet wet, trying to figure out what I wanted my process to be. I started my website during 2019. I had the most ugly logo at the time.

Heidi Thompson:
Oh my God, I look back and I’m like, how did I think that my calligraphy was even relatively good at that point in time?

Heidi Thompson:
Hey, if you look back at yourself and cringe, that means you haven’t grown.

Elyse Stokes:
That’s valid. That’s really valid. But yeah, I started getting wedding invitation clients under my belt, was working on that for a while, and then was still—

Heidi Thompson:
everything was still a side business.

Elyse Stokes:
And so when obviously TikTok was pretty big during like the pandemic especially, and then after that, I feel like that’s when I saw live wedding painting as a concept at all was maybe late 2021, um, after, you know, things were kind of getting back to normal, weddings were back on, all of that. And so I, I think that I did another test run. I found a picture and was like, okay, if I like— let me just see how I do if I have a timer on and like, what can I get done in 5 or 6 hours if I’m not stopping and I’m standing and I’m working? And so I did it. I posted about it and said— and kind of gained a little bit of like, like in the community that I had already had, like, who thinks this would be a good idea? Like without asking it exactly that way, but kind of putting feelers out of like, do we think this is a good idea? And the— it was a resounding yes, this is awesome. Um, and so I, I did a few, I think, or like, I think a couple of smaller level acrylic paintings, again, just to kind of showcase what I felt I would be able to realistically offer for a wedding. Um, and then I had a coworker who ended up— her stepsister was getting married in a couple of months.

Heidi Thompson:
And so she was like, how much would it be if this was something I gifted to her as a surprise?

Elyse Stokes:
And so it was my very first thing.

Heidi Thompson:
I was like, I’m not going to do it for free.

Elyse Stokes:
That’s something that I still harp on. I’m like, never do anything for free unless it’s for that very first wedding invitation where it’s like, I’m doing this and my friend is not actually getting married. But I’m like, anytime that you’re doing something—

Heidi Thompson:
Mm-hmm.

Elyse Stokes:
That’s genuinely gonna be going to somebody.

Heidi Thompson:
It’s only for them.

Elyse Stokes:
Do not do it for free. And so I ended up charging.

Heidi Thompson:
I think I ended up only charging like $450.

Elyse Stokes:
I knew that was not gonna be my final pricing at all, but I was like, you know what? Since this is so new, I want to feel like I’m at least being compensated for my time and then figure it out from there. And so yeah, I ended up painting at her wedding. It was April of 2022, was the very first wedding I ever painted.

Heidi Thompson:
And I tried to do a ton of research beforehand to kind of get an idea of what I would do and how I would do it.

Elyse Stokes:
And yeah, I bit the bullet, did the wedding, and they were so happy. They cried when they saw it. It was a really cool feeling. Um, I— she like still reacts to my stuff on Instagram and like is, is so excited for the way that I’ve grown over the last few years. But yeah, that was how I started with live wedding painting.

Heidi Thompson:
I love that. And now what is the breakdown in your business between stationery clients, live wedding painting clients,

Heidi Thompson:
Is there overlap?

Heidi Thompson:
Yeah, there’s some overlap. That was definitely a big thing was like, I definitely had to really rebrand because I obviously I started with only wedding invitations. And so that was something that I was like, I want it to feel like it’s one business where I have 2 services rather than it feeling like disjointed.

Heidi Thompson:
Mm-hmm.

Heidi Thompson:
Um, and so I, I repositioned myself as like a wedding artist that does stationery and does wedding paintings and does like day-of stuff too, um, rather than being only wedding invitations or like a wedding stationer or only a live wedding painter. Um, and so I would say, as far as the breakdown goes right now, I definitely have more invite— or I’m sorry, more wedding painting clients than I do for wedding invitations, because I think a lot of people see the custom wedding invitation experience as much more luxury. Whereas the, the entertainment factor, I think, is such a big draw for live wedding paintings that that feels a little bit more reasonable for some people to make that investment. And so I, I would say probably 70% of my clients are doing live wedding paintings. 30% are doing wedding invitations, but that there is some overlap like that, that there are some people. So maybe I would say 65, 25, and then the remaining is overlap.

Heidi Thompson:
Okay, that makes sense.

Heidi Thompson:
Yeah.

Heidi Thompson:
And I mean, I love that because you have this person that you can serve, and if you can serve them in more than one way, like Yay, that makes everybody happy.

Heidi Thompson:
Yeah, for sure. And it’s really cool too, because at least for my business model, I get really into the creation process for wedding invitations. And so it makes it that much more special to be able to send out invitations for a client and then be there to celebrate with them in person too, after we just spent, you know, X amount of months sometimes even a year plus working together for their invitations.

Elyse Stokes:
And then now, like, we get to see, hey, because you invited your friends and family here, like, we’re all here now to celebrate.

Heidi Thompson:
And so even actually this past weekend was a client that did both that I got to talk to so many people, and they all knew.

Elyse Stokes:
They were like, you’re the girl who also did the wedding invitations, right? I still have those on my fridge. They’re so fun. I love it.

Heidi Thompson:
And It was like super cool because it is just kind of a full circle moment when I get to do both services for somebody. It’s so fun.

Heidi Thompson:
That’s awesome. What a cool journey you get to take them on all the way through that.

Elyse Stokes:
Yeah.

Heidi Thompson:
So I’m curious where you were at in 2024 when we first met, when you joined the Wedding Business Collective. Where are things at at that point in time and what made you decide to join?

Heidi Thompson:
Yeah. So I, like we said, I broke my leg, um, literally 5 days after my birthday. So my, my birthday is July 10th. I broke my leg on July 15th, and then early to mid-August was when, um, you had your summit, and I joined that from a recliner. Um, and so At that point in time, I had a few clients, but they were very sporadic. It was the type of thing where I, you know, I had done a big branding session. I had beautiful photos. I was obsessed with my website. I feel like I had poured a lot into making it visually look really great. I was, I was trying to force Instagram to work. For my birthday, I even like did kind of like a flash. It was like the first 10 days of July. I had like different specials going on and different deals going on, and I was like, so sure this is gonna really pump up my business. I, I was getting like occasional clients from The Knot, um, but most of them were always dead ends.

Elyse Stokes:
And it was people that were price shopping. Um, and so I was like really trying to pour a lot especially into Instagram, but I didn’t, and I still don’t honestly, like perfectly understand Instagram of like what fucking works. I know, I know. Like, and so, but I was, I was literally like grinding gears that were beginning to smoke that I was trying so hard And I ended up being so discouraged because I had a pretty decent, like, engagement of people that were liking and commenting and even sharing. And I was like running ads on Facebook. And again, I didn’t even know what the hell I was doing, but I was trying for like the sake of, you know, I’m running all of these specials, so let me put it out there on Facebook and run ads and push my post and all of these things that like I really was just throwing spaghetti at the wall and praying. that it would stick. And at the end of the 10 days, the end of my birthday came and went, and not a single person had even inquired from that.

Like, I had engagement, but nothing tangible from it. And I just remember sobbing. I was so discouraged. I had put so much into, you know, making advertisements and pushing them and like Just genuinely, like, from the bottom of my heart, trying to generate more business. At this point, um, I had had— so that was like a big thing was when I started my business, you know, eventually the idea was I would love to be able to go full-time when my husband and I start having kids. And so my son was born in 2023. And so this was 2024 when I broke my leg. So I had already had my son. I, at that point, thankfully, like, I was making just enough that, like, I was able to contribute a little bit. But then things were starting to kind of, like, pitter out as far as my income. And so I was really stressed. I was nervous about where the state of my bank account was. I had just broken my leg, so I’m like, okay, like this is literally knocking me on my ass, and like how am I gonna continue making money when I can’t go to a wedding painting right now? Like I can’t. I couldn’t accept. Thankfully, I didn’t have anything on the calendar for at least a couple of months, but like I can’t market like hey, if you book me before the end of July for a wedding, I’ll give you da da. Like I was like desperate for clients at this point.

And so when I ran this special and then there was not a single even nibble on it that was promising, I was just so discouraged. Then I broke my ankle and I was just at a point where I was like, I just don’t know what else to do to genuinely generate anything worthwhile for my business. I don’t want to have to go back to work, but if I can’t make money in my business, I can’t stay home. Then we’re gonna have to spend so much money on daycare. And so genuinely, I was just in a place where I was spiraling. Like, I was so scared. And it was like, again, I, you know, had broken my leg too, so my mobility was gone. My son was like at the point where he was supposed to be starting to try to walk and like do all of this on his own. And now suddenly mom is just, you know, not able to do anything for herself anymore. And so it was a really dark time in my life where genuinely, like, probably one of the darkest times in my life that I just felt so discouraged on every angle. I felt like I was failing as a business owner, as a mom, as a wife, to myself. I felt like I was failing myself. And so, Yeah. When, gosh, I want to say that it might have been a Facebook ad that I had seen that it was talking about, you know, your summit was coming up and dedicate, you know, a week. And I’m like, well, I’ve got a fucking week. I can dedicate time. I’m already in this chair. Literally. Like, what? Because that was part of it too, was like, okay, what am I gonna do? Am I going to sit here and watch TV and cross stitch all day because like that’s all I can really do? The answer was yes, but also I can like really use this time to my benefit to really push for my business. And so that was kind of— I, I think that the first couple of weeks it was mostly just a woe is me kind of attitude, and then eventually it got to a point where I was like, no, you know what, like maybe I can see this as a weird twisted blessing in disguise. And

Elyse Stokes:
there for? How am I gonna kick ass while I’m stuck in a chair? Um, and so yeah, that’s when I joined the summit, and I was taking so many notes on so many different things. I was really just trying to take advantage of the fact that like you were there, that there was all of these panel speakers that were experts in their field, and I was like trying to join every single possible live that I could so that I could ask questions and get feedback, you know, in real time. I was always like offering up my website when somebody’s like, hey, like we’re gonna use somebody’s website as an example for looking at your copy on your website. I’m like, yes, please, me, eastoakscreations.com. Like I was feral for like, what am I doing wrong? And so yeah, that was, it was so good for me. I would like get off for the day with the summit and just be like gushing to my husband and my sister and anybody who would listen. I’m like, oh my gosh, like, here’s the different things I learned today.

Here’s all the things that I’ve been doing wrong. And I feel like for the first time, I, I feel like there’s like hope at the end of the tunnel. And how can I figure this out? So I just, yeah, it was it was so like, the timing was so perfect because I went from feeling so low and so hopeless to literally like this one random ad that’s like, hey, come join my free week-long summit. Like literally felt like it fell into my lap and was such a game changer for my mental health, for my business. Like it literally just helped set me back on fire for my business too and feel like, okay, there is There is more for me to figure out here. And yeah, I genuinely, like, I will never be able to say enough good things about you, Heidi. Like, I just— it came at such a crucial time for me that, like, I don’t even know if you know, like, how low I was at the point where our paths crossed and, like, how grateful I’ve been. So— I knew you were having a rough time. I didn’t know how bad it was because, like, you know, we don’t exactly share that kind of stuff. Yeah. But it was very personal. Yeah. Until you get past it and then it’s like, oh, let me tell you about how this was and how I got out of it.

Wow. But like, oh my God, talk about serendipitous timing. Literally. Literally. That is so perfect. So then you went through the summit, you joined the collective. Mm-hmm. In the collective, you know, one of the first things we do, we free up your time and we start working on Your marketing plan. So tell me a little bit about that experience and figuring out like exactly who you’re talking to, who you’re trying to reach, and how you’re going to reach them. So obviously what I had been doing was trying everything and throwing it at the wall and like, what can I figure out and make happen? Very normal, by the way. And I ended up Like starting to realize that I needed to start refining who I am targeting, because obviously I feel like it’s easy, especially when you’re doing something that might be considered a more luxury thing, because obviously everybody needs wedding invitations. But yes, if you want to settle for basic invitations, you can get them on Minted and it’s not that expensive. And like, even, you know, you know, I had talked about getting this wedding planning book and it was like, set aside $800 for your wedding invitations.

I’m like, what the fuck, people? Like, Minted isn’t even that cheap. How are you— like, how are you printing all of your invitations for 1 cent per, practically? I don’t know. Anyway, I also think that there’s a lot of misinformation about different services and how much they actually should like expect to invest. But that’s another topic for another day. But, um, I, I did realize after kind of starting with getting a little bit more intentional about my marketing is like, I am, I am putting myself out there hoping that my, like, that somebody who will value me and is going to also have the budget to back up that value I, I don’t feel like I was in the right place for that with trying to figure out, um, you know, on Instagram and then like also my website, realizing that my SEO was not up to par to be actually finding people that would want to invest. Um, because it was one thing that— and I felt like this was kind of what I kept running into— is that I would get on a consultation call with somebody and be really excited, and then we would get to the investment page and they would be like, oh, that’s just so much more than like what I was expecting, or, oh, like, your work is beautiful and yes, it is worth that, but I can’t.

And so that was really hard for me too. And so that was part of, um, I think within my marketing plan and like figuring out within the ideal client realm is, okay, I need, I need both things to happen. I need them to value what I’m doing and be able to afford it, not just one or the other. And so I had already tried a couple of bridal shows that were a little bit smaller, but then I ended up realizing that a lot of these Open houses that I was going to and pouring a lot of my time into, you know, getting ready for it. And I was, I was very, very hopeful. A, the open houses would have really low turnout. So that’s already decreasing who I have a microphone in front of to talk about my business and my services. But then also, a lot of these open houses are obviously like, I’m not trying to like shit talk other vendors or venues like at all, but there are a lot of brides and grooms and couples that like choosing particular venues because they’re so all inclusive and that they’re getting these big deals. And so sometimes these, these venues that I would go showcase at that had like these all-inclusive pricing, and it’s like I’m there to, to try to like talk about my luxury services, but it’s not really a luxury venue.

This is kind of like a— this is an open house that’s maybe a little bit more for like modest budgets rather than like extravagant budgets, whereas like somebody who’s gonna be choosing to invest in You know, $3,500 plus in just wedding invitations alone, they’re not gonna be at a modest venue. They’re gonna be somewhere more upscale. And so that was also kind of a priority shift that I had to get to was like, I unfortunately, I just can’t spend all of this time and money and effort into lower hanging fruit. where that’s not going to be the person who’s going to choose to hire me is not going to be going to this random open house in the middle of nowhere, Georgia. And that’s everything, like the alignment, the targeting, that is absolutely everything, as you have figured out. Like, because you can have, you know, the perfect everything else, but if you’re selling to the wrong person, it’s just not going to work. Exactly, exactly. And so there was a lot of recalibration that I had to do to figure out what is worth my time, what is not worth my time. And, you know, I feel like every time that we talk, I always bring up, you know, you kind of kicking my ass about like, why are you pouring so much time into Instagram when it’s not reaping you any results or benefits? And I’m like, oh, like I had no answer for you because I’m like, I just thought that’s what you do. And I think that’s probably what most people think, right? Like, well, I mean, what do you want me to do? What am I supposed to do instead? Literally.

So I think that was just such a big, like, dichotomy shift for me was quit. Like, I’m like, actually really bad at Instagram now. I was like trying to show up pretty consistently once upon a time. And now it’s like, every few months I’m posting something and I’m like, okay, I think I do need to get back into it just because I want people to go to my Instagram and not be like, oh, this is like a dead account now. Um, but I, yeah, I, I just had to really shift a lot of priorities and figure out where to push more of my time, um, which the collective really helped with that. And, you know, I’m sure we’ll talk about that too, like the results from all of that, but it was It definitely was like, honestly, that kick in my ass was like probably the biggest thing that helped me actually start making progress and turning things around was figuring out where am I currently prioritizing and where should I shift to prioritize. And then we can like play with other things along the way later kind of thing. Yeah. And that’s a— it’s a huge mindset shift. Like everybody tries to be everywhere all the time, but then you look and you’re splitting yourself 10 ways and only 2 of these things are working.

What if you put all that effort and strategy and intention and money into the 2 things that are working? Those 2 things, right? And I think that is, you’re a really good example of that, of something that people think should work for them, like Instagram. And for you, like you get people that come through there occasionally, but it’s not one of your main marketing channels. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I still have like, again, who— I don’t understand people that do really well on Instagram. I’m like, what is the secret? Because I don’t get it. Because I’ll have random things that go, that go like micro. I had one thing that did go like genuinely viral. And I’m just like, it’s just not consistent. I don’t get it. But anyway. So tell me, where’d you go from there? What are the marketing channels that you landed on that you figured out, okay, this works for me, or I tested this and it works for me, and now these are gonna be the things that I’m really gonna prioritize. The rest of it can take a backseat. Yeah, I would definitely put my number one as my bridal shows. So I— and that was part of it too, is like also realizing all bridal shows are not the same. And so Because at one point I was doing, like I said, a lot of open houses. And then I kind of got cycled in a little bit with this one particular company. It was a planning company and they did a lot of shows throughout the state of Georgia.

And sometimes they were more, You know, smaller venues. Sometimes they were a little bit larger. Sometimes they went to some of the bigger shows, but they had a lot of open houses. And so I at first was really excited about them because I kind of knew even if they had a little bit low of a turnout, if I dedicated, you know, a Saturday or a Sunday afternoon to this show that was a little bit smaller, Um, a lot of times I could almost guarantee that I would get at least 1 or 2 clients from it. And I was also able to do those particular shows for free. And so that was really nice that, you know, at the time, again, I feel like a lot of my business story is about how things have snowballed and then I’ve had to kind of figure out, okay, things are snowballing well enough that like I can say goodbye to this season that did help me. but it’s no longer serving me the way that I needed to. And so I feel like that’s been kind of like, honestly, kind of the story of my business is like, okay, I don’t offer wood signs anymore or like one-off calligraphy services anymore unless it’s like an add-on for an existing client that I have. Same thing with these shows. It’s like, okay, for a small period of time, these smaller shows, especially if it was like a pretty good venue with like being a little bit more geared toward like moderate to like higher income, even if it’s not necessarily a luxury like venue, if it was a little bit on the higher end of things, like I said, I could expect to get at least 1 or 2 clients for either live wedding paintings or wedding invitations.

And so those kinds of things again were worth it at the time. But what ended up happening was like, I think that like this particular person, like I think was starting to not prioritize the way that she was marketing things. And so there ended up being one like this. It was supposed to be this big huge show. It ended up not working out even remotely what she had like projected to the vendors. that had signed up to be part of this particular show. Um, it was, it was so bad. There was so much fallout. And that was kind of when I realized, like, this isn’t serving me the same way that I want it to be. And so again, that was another point in time where I kind of pivoted and I was like, okay, now I’m only going to look at higher-end large shows where there’s gonna be lots of vendors that are paying. Brides and grooms and couples have to pay for tickets to enter, um, because these free shows, people would say that they’re gonna come and then they just wouldn’t show up. And so there was like no skin in the game for any of the, the clients. Um, and then I also had some of it was like by, um, like trial and error of, okay, it looks like this is a really good show, but then I get there and it’s like, okay, why is there— why are there so many companies that are selling honeymoon packages and there’s almost nobody that’s doing photography services or planning services?

Why, why is it— such a weird turnout of vendors. Um, and, and like getting feedback from, from couples at the shows like, yeah, I feel like you were kind of like the only highlight for us there. Um, anyway, I, I had to start getting picky about the shows that I started attending too, and like, um, just trying to like really make sure that it felt like it was aligned with what I’m trying to project with my business and Um, you know, the money that I’m asking for people to invest in, I wanted the shows to also feel reflective of that as well. Um, so all of that to say, wedding shows is definitely one of them, but the right wedding shows. Mm-hmm. And then, um, I also ended up pouring a lot into my website and getting the SEO on a lot straighter so that, um, That could become something that, um, now I would say is probably my number 2. And then my number 3 would be private referrals from like planners that I’ve worked with and that are coming back to me again and again with clients. Um, so yeah. I love it. And I think referrals and relationships are one of those universal things in the wedding industry that is just gonna be important.

But I think, you know, You know, I see people all the time that are like, this is dead, this doesn’t work. And it’s like, I literally work with people who do this and it’s like their number one thing, whether it’s wedding shows or Facebook or whatever it is. If it aligns with your person and it makes sense for what you’re selling, like you said, all of those things have to align. It can’t just be randomly choosing places. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So tell me about what things have been like since you have really gotten those 3 things down. These are the things you’re working on. Everything else has taken a backseat and you’re just really focusing on doing more of what’s working in your marketing. I am so grateful because I, A, have gotten incredible clients. Once I figured out what was working for me and what wasn’t working for me and really, really, really going hard in trying to, like, especially for my bridal shows, obviously, like, I really want it to feel like somebody can walk into my booth and everybody, like, anywhere that they’re standing, even if they have to wait for a couple of minutes while I’m finishing up talking to somebody else, I have really worked hard to make my booth feel like an experience in and of itself.

I’ve tried to make it where there’s easy information anywhere that somebody could look. They can find the information that they’re looking for or having a couple of different people there to help me out as kind of my team members to talk about my services. And so, yeah, I’m really, really grateful because now I have multiple payments coming in every month. Sometimes even like a few payments a week of people that are in payment plans with me for my like wedding invitations or live wedding paintings. I, like I said, the caliber of my client has really changed. I love the clients that I get to serve, and I’m having so much more fun with everything that I get to do. Um, but that— I feel like that’s like the big thing is that financial security is so much different now than it was before, um, where I can, you know, on a whim, I bought my husband and I bikes and got like a little toddler seat for our son so that we can go biking together. Oh. Um, and it— but it was like, that was an expense that I’m like, I, I got to get these random bikes or like get new equipment that are like, you know, whatever I need, I, I can fund that through my business and still also obviously be contributing to my household’s finances.

I feel so grateful that, you know, these, these shows have helped, um, me to, to just feel more comfortable and, and start pushing further and further toward what life I want to be living ultimately anyway. And obviously, like, my business is a work in progress. I am a work in progress. I’m still tweaking things and trying to figure out how to make things even better for myself. And I literally, I have like a Post-it note that I’m like, I need to go back into the wedding collect— like the Wedding Business Collective and look at X and Y and Z so that I can like get caught up on all of these other things. And like, I think I’m ready to start like figuring out Instagram marketing a little bit better again and whatever. But, um, yeah, I’m grateful because I, again, I also feel like it’s helped me feel more confident about my business as well. I have more consistent clients and have literally have to like turn people away. Like, I’m sorry, I can’t paint for you this day because somebody else already booked me a year and a half in advance. Like, that is such a cool feeling.

Heidi Thompson:
Yeah.

Elyse Stokes:
To be popular enough and liked enough that somebody is wanting to, like, invest so far out in advance that now I have to, like, turn other people away because their wedding has already been booked. Like, that— going from that day, like, going from, like, my birthday a couple of years ago and trying and crying About the fact that I couldn’t get any clients to bite or any leads even to now suddenly, you know, suddenly as if I didn’t put in a shit ton of work. But like, it’s such a cool, good feeling to be on the other side even a little bit more where my calendar just looks so different. My bank account looks so different. And so much of it, Heidi, like, I cannot thank you enough. And I, like, obviously I’m on your podcast, so like, yes, I will sing your praises forever and ever. But like, genuinely, the serendipity of the timing and the, the way that you invested into me, even just that initial first week and then continuing since then, just has completely revolutionized the way that I look at my business, the way that my business shows up for me, and vice versa. And I’m just— Yeah, I’m really grateful for where things are at with my business right now. So yeah.

Heidi Thompson:
Thank you for sharing that. And I, you know, I remember that week and I always remember every single summit. There are a couple people that really stand out to me because I can tell they’re serious. I can tell they’re like, I, I’m not trying to make this work. I am going, going to make this work. And I’m here. I will do whatever I need to do. Just point Point me in the direction, tell me what to do, tell me where to go, and I’ll go do it. And I noticed that about you, like, right off the bat. I was like, oh, she means business. Yep, she’s, she’s gonna take this and run with it. And you definitely have.

Elyse Stokes:
Yeah, it’s so crazy. Even just thinking, I’m like, literally, that was 2 years ago.

Elyse Stokes:
Almost 2 years ago exactly. Yeah. And how different things are now to what they were then is so crazy to me.

Heidi Thompson:
Yeah, that’s not that long of a time.

Elyse Stokes:
No, it’s really not. That’s super cool.

Heidi Thompson:
You have absolutely crushed it, and I think it’s really cool that you are one of those people who have really been good at focusing and prioritizing and deciding like, okay, these are my things that work. I’m just gonna keep working these things. And then, you know, it’s like you’re spinning plates. Once these plates are spinning, once they’re good, and only once they’re good, can I go over here and start on something else. And it just keeps you out of feeling chaotic and overwhelmed all the time.

Elyse Stokes:
Mm-hmm. Exactly.

Heidi Thompson:
Oh, I’m so happy that you were able to do this. First of all, you have done this work. You deserve all the kudos for it, but also that you’re so willing to share it because I think it shows like just what is possible when you, A, refuse to quit and B, follow a path that shows you, you know, exactly what you need to do and get the help that you need to implement it, because it’s very easy to be like, I don’t know, I’ll maybe figure it out one day. We all have things we do that with. But yeah, I love that you’re like, no, like, this is gonna work. I’m gonna make it work. And sometimes that’s the tenacity we need to get through those hard periods.

Elyse Stokes:
Yeah. Oh yeah, it’s so crazy.

Heidi Thompson:
What would you tell someone who is thinking about joining the Wedding Business Collective?

Elyse Stokes:
Well, obviously the first month is only a dollar, so that’s, that’s a good one right then and there. Because I remember looking at that and I was like, uh, yeah, ding ding ding, my business, my bank account looks like crap right now, but I think I can handle a dollar. Um, so that was the first thing, was like, okay, let me at least try this, let me taste it, let me look, let me see what it is looking like and see if this is something that maybe makes more sense long term. And then I feel like the really, really cool thing about the Wedding Business Collective is how deep it goes with how many things that are available that, like, I literally, I have your, like, the collective login page bookmarked on my Google, like, Chrome. So that I can just go in and log in whenever I need to. And like, even if I, because obviously as business owners, you have this whole roadmap, which for somebody who doesn’t know about that, the roadmap is super, super cool. It starts you literally at step 1 and then guides you through everything. As a business owner with ADHD, it’s hard to stay on that track.

Elyse Stokes:
But it’s easier. I love that there’s like places in the collective where it’s like a quick win, or that you can look through and be like, okay, here is a lesson that specifically is about SEO or about email marketing, or like here is a ChatGPT bot that like helps you figure out your ideal client. It’s like there are so many different little niches that you can land within the collective. Or I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone back in time after going through like different things in the roadmap and being like, okay, let me go back and like it’s been 6 months since the last time I watched this particular video. Let me repeat it. Let me take notes again. Let me see if this sparks anything. And I, I’m the kind of person that like I’ll be taking notes and then I’ll pause the video and literally go down this rabbit hole of like, ooh, here’s an idea for a marketing thing, or how I could like make, you know, my wedding shows even more successful, or I need to create a workflow for after somebody inquires at a show and make that a really easy transition. And like, you know, tweaking my processes, all of these different things, all of the I’m trying to say and get to the basic point, which is there are so many different ways that you can get your fingers dirty and get your hands dirty within the Wedding Business Collective. And there are like weekly different ways that Heidi is showing up for you, that other members are showing up where you can like, again, go in and volunteer yourself to be the guinea pig and say, hey, here’s what I’m struggling with right now. Can I get real-time feedback within this networking session? Or hey, like quarterly planning sessions.

Let me show up. Let me talk about what I’d like to have happen. Here’s what was working, what wasn’t working last quarter. What can I do differently? There are so many different ways to engage within the community, within the collective, and like the instruction that you have taken time to create already. And then if all of that still fails, there’s also the Facebook page where you can go and type in questions or connect with other members because everybody’s on the same journey as you ultimately. And so it’s a really cool way to like, oh my God, there’s just so many different cool resources. I can’t tell you how many times, even when I’m like more busy and I can’t show up and get onto like the Zoom calls, I’m like still going through on Facebook and like searching for keywords of like, hey, here’s what I’m trying to figure out right now. oh my God, Heidi’s already helped somebody else with this. Okay, perfect. Like, now I can just plug this in and keep going. So again, there are so many different benefits. If none of that convinced you, listener, go get your mind checked.

Heidi Thompson:
No, I, I, I build it that way very intentionally because not everybody needs the same thing. Not everybody has

Heidi Thompson:
has the same amount of time. Not everybody, you know, likes to consume things the same way. So I try to make it flexible. So it’s like you can get what you need regardless of how you’re doing that. And something that I’ve just introduced, by the way, as we’re recording this, thanks to AI, I’ve been able to streamline so many things in my own business and save so much time that I’ve been able to build in a new for members to get coaching. So there’s gonna be a monthly check-in where you can report like, hey, this is how things are going, this is where I’m stuck, and I’m gonna get right back to you in an email, give you some one-on-one coaching so you can get some additional support. So I really love that AI is freeing me up to be more human with people, and I can come and hang out with you guys more and help you figure things out more. So— That’s so cool. I’m very excited about that.

Elyse Stokes:
Yeah.

Heidi Thompson:
Well, Elise, if people want to go check out your stunning website that I know you’ve put so much work into, or connect with you, what is the best place for them to do that?

Elyse Stokes:
I lately, I am all about guiding people to my Instagram, not because I am so active there, but because my link in bio takes anybody anywhere that they want to be. That’s like my digital business card. So my business is E Stokes Creations. So not East Oaks, but E Stokes Creations. So it’s E-S-T-O-K-E-S-C-R-E-A-T-I-O-N-S. And that’s where you can find me on Instagram, Facebook. But that’s also my website name if that’s what you want to plug into. But like I said, if you go to my Instagram, my link in bio will take you to my website as well, where you can see Anything and everything that you want to see about me.

Heidi Thompson:
Fantastic. Well, I will link to all of that in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here and sharing your journey so far.

Elyse Stokes:
Thank you, Heidi. I am grateful that I got to hang out with you and talk about my business because it’s really cool to look back and reflect on like, oh my God, things really have changed so much for the better in the last couple of years. It’s really, really cool.

Heidi Thompson:
I cannot wait to see where you go from here because I know that momentum is not going to stop if I know you at all. Did you catch the distance between who Elise was at the start of that conversation and who she is now? It’s not only the money and the bookings, although the money and the bookings have changed. It’s the confidence, the choice. She went from, okay, I will book literally anyone, to I have to turn people away because I’m booked a year and a half out. She went from feeling like I’m failing as a business owner, a mom, and a wife

Heidi Thompson:
wife to buying bikes for her family on a whim because the family—

Elyse Stokes:
She went from feeling like she was failing as a business owner, a mom, and a wife to buying new bikes for her family on a whim because the business is stable. She went from desperate and scrounging to being able to be picky in the best possible way. And here’s what I really need you to hear. Elise didn’t wake up with some magical talent the rest of us don’t have.

Heidi Thompson:
She got clear on who her people were. She stopped pouring hours into the stuff that wasn’t working, and she went all in on the 2 or 3 things that actually brought couples in. And she let go of the guilt of saying no. And for her, that included saying no to Instagram.

That’s the playbook. Now picture that being you a year from now, sitting with your calendar and it’s full. Not full of random price shopping inquiries, full of couples that you actually want, the ones who get what you do and are happy to pay for it without flinching.

Heidi Thompson:
Your bank account looks different. You breathe differently. You have more space. And you’re not working more hours to get there. You’re working smarter ones, saying no to the things that used to drain you and yes to the work that pays and lights you up. That doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you get clear on your people, your ideal client.

Heidi Thompson:
Get brave enough to turn away the wrong ones. Learn how to say who you are so the right couples go, oh my God, that’s her, and show up where they’re actually looking. That is what we are talking about during the Book More Wedding Summit. It’s 5 days, it’s 5 tracks with wedding pros who’ve stood exactly where you’re standing right now. It’s where Elise started, and I hope you’ll come join us too.

You don’t have to wait to figure it out alone. That’s the entire point of this summit. Grab your free ticket at bookmoreweddingsummit.com, or you can comment the word summit on any of my Instagram posts and I’ll send it over for you. This totally free summit runs August 17th through the 21st, and on the 21st, we are spending that day taking action, and I’m going to hand you the roadmap for your next steps to be able to get results like Elise had. I think you will find exactly what you need at this summit, so go get your free ticket at bookmoreweddingsummit.com. I’ll see you there.